This isnt a fairytale....

Sat, 14 Jan 2006 00:44:56 GMT

Dear *fucking* Livejournal,

Stop making me change my password. I feel as if there is never a password I will pick that will ever make you happy. How about on MY account I will have a password I want.....

- Unhappy & annoyed.

Wed, 11 Jan 2006 07:03:24 GMT

Wed, 28 Dec 2005 08:36:20 GMT

While Kyle wins money on pokerstars.com
I play Sims 2.

Buuuuut I made him make Alicia and Kyle sims with me first (bc im a dork)

[krodriGuez19: they look so happy just like the real us]

He's kinda a big deal....

(by the way this was right b4 we got to "woohoo")

I <3 sims!!

Sun, 25 Dec 2005 17:10:05 GMT

Dear Santa...

Dear Santa,

This year I've been busy!

Last Tuesday I bought porn for bbandahalf (-10 points). In May muxican and I donated clothes to the needy (11 points). In March I gave rach052184 a kidney (1000 points). In July I had a shoot-out with rival gang lords on the 5 near LA (-76 points). Last Sunday I gave jeraf1 a Dutch Oven (-10 points).

Overall, I've been nice (915 points). For Christmas I deserve a new dolly!

Sincerely,
luckylp56

Fuck you and your lies

Sun, 04 Dec 2005 17:15:16 GMT

~~Im broken~~.... I lived TWO months off your lies...

But dont worry. Ill over come - thats what I do. Get hurt and Get STRONGER.

SO TRY ME!

Thu, 01 Dec 2005 19:43:02 GMT

And as I gently sip this drink,
I think about my lack of future

Wed, 02 Nov 2005 05:06:48 GMT

Here she is <3

Meet Adalyn Aubrey Mata!

Aunti Alicia and Adalyn

Shes amazing <3

<3<3<3<3
God I cant get enough of her.
Amber did good, wow.
This little girl put a smile on my face even though I didnt want it there...

So, do u think everytime a person passes another one is born?
Last week my grandpa was told he had cancer in his stomach.
When I recived the call they had givin him 3 months to live if he didnt get medical attention.
Even though the tears rolled down my face I stayed strong,
he doesnt want the help - I knew this.
He wants to meet the love of his life again in heaven.
My mother told me he asked for me last week....
Friday I planned to go see him and Adalyn (who was born thursday).
But things happend and it didnt work out that holly and I could go that morning...
So we postponed the trip home to sunday.
I cant explain my feelings, I was going to say good bye to my grandpa and wish him happiness where he wanted to find it, and meet a new love in my life Adalyn....
But as Holly and I reached the off ramp to Muskegon I got a message from my mom:
"Alicia, when you get this I need you to call me."
But I didnt need to call her.
I knew.
I missed the chance to say goodbye.
He passed away befor I even got home.
I tried blaming myself....
I dont know what to say.
It hurts that he asked for me,
And in return I didnt come.
All summer I should have been by his side while he was alone with out her.
But instead I did what I wanted to do....
and I lost time that I will never be able to regain.

The only thing that keeps me from crying is I keep saying:
I watched one life come to an end, and in return I get to watch another begin.
RIP "Carpa" <3

Fri, 28 Oct 2005 18:04:30 GMT

Does anyone thats in Kzoo have cowboy boots???

Im diry poor and need them for halloween :( I suck ass.

Thu, 27 Oct 2005 17:20:47 GMT

If you be in Kzoo tonight come to our house!!!!

$3 Jungle Juice! <3

Should be a good time even though I dont get out of work till like 10eeeeek!

Thu, 27 Oct 2005 12:22:39 GMT

Amber had a baby girl!!!!!!!

Thu, 27 Oct 2005 02:10:40 GMT

rh0ndabear -> Just to let u know... My mother took care of the pups, they are not at the pound anymore. Thank you for giving me the information... Im too much of an animal lover when I hear about animals going to the pound I freak out!! THANKS!

Thu, 20 Oct 2005 16:43:50 GMT

[I love this picture]

That was from one of the first weeks we moved in...
:(
Good times.

All the girls came up for Angies bday!

This was Angi's bday face at Fridays.

Angi's present from Holly.
They are kinda weird just dont mind them.....

We went bowling at Harppos the other night...
Gooooood times when you sneak in booze :)

Holly getting some hot lovin from Brynn and I.

Kyle and I <3<3<3

And yea... dude.
My booooobs are growing!

Thought everyone should know :) lol
Im finally becoming a woman!

Thu, 13 Oct 2005 21:03:28 GMT

Hey guys!

Its been awhile. Just thought I would say hi.

Things are going great with me right now. I have been spending most of my time with Kyle, a guy from work. He's amazing. I cant stop smilling right now.... and hopefully that wont stop - but as we alllll know I know that good things always come to an end. But till then Ill keep up the smiles!

I miss all my girls. <3 Mello havent talked to u in awhile.

Halloween is coming up soon - cant wait. Our house has thought of some cute costumes but we might get our asses beat haha.

Kyle wants me to go to a wedding with him soon and meet some fam and friends... little nervous - I guess I havent really gave him an answer to that yet.

Cancun was fun, besdies I had a tooth infection that kinda stopped me from drinking as much as I wanted to.

And I havent partied too much lately... Yea I know, me of all people have been staying home and laying low. Kinda weird I know. Oh well I havent been in the mood much. Maybe I grew out of it? Haha no way. Just taking a small break bc of personal reasons. Ill be back in the game soon :)

<3 goes out to everyone. Leave a couple comments it would be nice to hear from people.

Birr come visit :( Have u talked to shelly in awhile?
Sorry I didnt talk much the other day. Promise I will more next time.

Tue, 11 Oct 2005 06:28:17 GMT

Loooook:

Meet Kyle.

<3 Good night

Mon, 12 Sep 2005 06:04:10 GMT

In 14 days while all of you will be in class...
I will be enjoying this

Family vacation.
:)

Im getting a new swimsuit though!

Plllllease help me pick one or two!

1:

2:

3:

4:

5:

6:

7:

8:

9:

10:

11:

12:

13:

14:

15:

Sorry there are soooo many bc I like sooooo many of them!
ahhhhh!
Help!

Sat, 10 Sep 2005 16:44:48 GMT

Drinking should be done in shifts when you have 6 roommates who get the shits, instead of hangovers the next morning...
We only have 2 bathrooms.
Its a bitch.

Our whole street is "red flagged"
Which means the cops love to walk up and down the street....
Obviously doesnt stop us lol
Lastnight went from only a select few to we are having a party.
It was fun though....
Oh besides the point where I called every guy I have dated in the last year.
That was interesting.
I deleted Marks number out of my phone book though...
That would have been really bad.
Grrrrr. ~~Mark~~

Wed, 07 Sep 2005 22:00:01 GMT

These our my roommates,
And that is out party in the background.

Ok, Jamie and Shelly are back in the picture!
They are my fav not paying rent roommies!

Bday girl and Tara out side...
Prolly one of the reasons the cops came lol

Last picture b4 it got crazy!

Chocolate syrup....
Who the hell is that...
damn.

Whoa guys - rockin out!

And besides the labtop, wallets, money, sunglasses, and my toothbrush that was stollen...
You can tell everyone had a grand time!

1st party = dancing, boobs, ass, and hot drunk babes..
Obviously a good time!

Fri, 02 Sep 2005 18:44:10 GMT

Mon, 29 Aug 2005 23:38:12 GMT

I love being back...
The best times ever!

Cookouts and kegs are all that I need right now:

Taider Tot and Emmy

Big Mike hittin' it

Neighbor Joe Mason and I
Haha look at that cheese

Linz and I

BAD-ASS

Whoa.

Next morning - not feelin so hot

Hot ladies!
Angi, Emmy, Me, and Holly

Sig Eps
I wasnt drunk

Neighbors pourch...
Spent alot of time there this week

Taiders in heaven

Sat, 20 Aug 2005 14:04:18 GMT

On my boat...
My best friends <3

Us again @ Angi's being trouble!

ALOT of hot ladies @ Kelly Paterson's
Pre-drinking b4 going to the bar

Ha it was family drink athon weekend @ my house...
I relized E-or wanted to join!

Sherbert had a party.
??, my best friend BRAD, me, and a hottie named Kevin!

Lump and I @ Sherbs.
I dont know why we did this? ha

Holly, Emmy, and I Pre-drinking @ Holly's dads.
Our favs from western came into town!

AND HERE THEY ARE - HOTTNESS...
It was an awesome weekend!!!

Last weekend after the booze started kicking in...
Hahaha Lemon drops what?

<3 western pics soon to come!

Fri, 19 Aug 2005 18:26:15 GMT

I love Kzoo.... God it feels good to be there again!

Our neighbors are the best...
Not kidding you I couldnt be happier.
Tuesday night Holly and I sat up with the guys and drank on the porch (Eric, Josh, and Tom).
Very chill night but all and all fun to get to know them well.
Wednesday mother came up and helped me get stuff done...
My rooms gunna be hot - its orange and pink... Pics soon.
Later that night Holly cooekd for eric and I.
And the girls (emmy and Linz) showed up later.
We got 3 5th and pint... and sad to say its all gone whoa.
Odell and brandon came over for awhile along with Andy and Big Mike...
We just went over and hung out with Cali, Joe, Eric, and Brian till like 4 am.
I could prolly sit with them everynight and be ok with Kzoo...
But we all know the big parties will get crazy soon! YAY!
Yesterday I was in kzoo alone :( everyone left.
I got paint for my room and cleaned - oh yea then my car broke down.
Sweet....
Painted all night till Joe came and made me Mac and Cheese and then we watched TV at his place till eric came back.
Andy had to give me a ride home today bc I work allllllll weekend in muskegon.
Fun times.
I start school on monday at two differnt buildings and I dont know what Im going to do... Oh well! <3

Fri, 12 Aug 2005 07:38:20 GMT

I have sooo much stuff I need to get off my chest right now...
So this may be a long one.
Sorry that I resort to this to bitch about stuff but its a good way to get my thoughts out.

Topics...

Friends:
There are two differnt types of friends...
a)Friends you relate to with a common understanding (partying, school, family, ect) and b)friends that know you... and are so differnt from you that people wonder how you even manage a friendship.
Friends "a" are the type of people who are around while they are around... you hope they will always be with you, but you know in your heart time will tell your seperet ways.
Friends "b" are those who have been through everything and no matter the situation always lend a shoulder. These are the people that you learn from. They do not share the same flaws as you do with friends "a"... Thats why you always will carry a friendship... These are the type that a hard to lose... Even if at times you feel you want to. Even if a friend makes you so mad - you cant just forget this type.... They have an impact on your life forever. To me these friends get along so well because they learn from eachothers faults... But how can you keep learning from one another if their is lack of communication between the two?
Ya. I dont know either. It still bothers me. You can only hold on for so long I guess...
And it seems that even after this story that maybe I was wrong... Maybe their is only actually one type of friend. "a".

Im kinda "pig-headed" I guess you can say. Everyone knows I stand by what I think. But most people dont know I tend to let my friends get the best of me. In a fight I am USUALLY the 1st to come and say sorry. My friends are my everything... My family holds nothing to the friends I have made over the years.
But I just wish I got an actual call... and its sad but at this point I dont know how I even feel about that.
Yes sorrys go both ways... But its not even what the fight was over ne more... its the way it ended.

Sometimes I feel I have the best of friends... Other times I wonder if I even understand the consept of friends. I always explain I have tons of friends. Everyone who has crossed my path and has not yet pissed me off I consider a friend... Is that a true statment of a friend? I mean can someone u meet become a "friend" right away or is there some form of meaning behind it...

I love those people who act like they are your friends... Those ones are the best... I would like to shake the hand of the 1st person who smiled at someone and then turned around to say something about them behind their back. There is no need for that. I wish people who be more honest... But then again I guess thats wrong too because then people would be called a bitch like myself. But I would rather be known as a bitch then a liar.
I'll stand by that.

At some point in time do you think that guys will grow up to my level? Not saying Im like mighty and so mature... But I just have differnt morals then most guys.

Do you ever realize that people these days throw the word "love" around too much... How can you honestly tell me you love someone at this age... its crazy to me. How many people make it out of high school/college with the same person? And if you do thats great but dont you ever wonder what you missed out being single? People always talk to me about "love" and when I say I have never fallen they are confused.... what is there to be confused about? Its a word/feeling that I will never throw around.
Holly and I talked the other day, mostly about random feelings, "love" was brought up - I told her if I had it my way the 1st time I tell someone I love them is the day he asked me to marry him... I know thats crazy talk. But I want to be my loves 1st love and I want him to be mine.

So I talked to my younder sister today. Intersting. So my dad is back in. Weird. That didnt take long. Another 4 months I guess. But then again I would expect to know since we havent talked in oh I would say.... all summer. Fuck him. It still hurts. Sometimes I hate life so much.... I dont know if I hate my self more or if I hate him more. I have so many mean things to say about him but in honesty hes my dad and I just wish with all my heart things were differnt. I love greg more then life but why cant my real father love me just the same.... Its not fair. I would never wish my life on my worest enemy.
The last time I talked to my dad he told me I didnt have it rough... Weird. How would he know? We dont talk. Ever. I mean he lives so far away and all... Right down Henrey.

I got to the point where I realized my family can deal with out me on the holidays... When did I realize that..... about that time I waited for them to call me for Easter dinner. I guess they figure I could turn out like my father? I dont know. Maybe if I'm near they will remember what type of person they brought in to the world. I dont know. I guess I dont want to be their much either though... I have been pushed out of their lifes so much its hard to even start a conversation. "Sooooo I hear my dad's in jail again" Yea, that ones getting old.

Sometimes I wish I could just take back time. I talked to Jenna tonight and I hung out with Bray. I miss my old friends... and old times. I miss no worries. I miss no drama. It seemed once they left all I delt with was drama in this town. Yes I know many of the times I had brought it on my self, and sometimes even watch my self feed off of it. But I miss being able to just chill and not have someone screaming about what their bf did to them. Get over it. Life goes on. I went through that dumb stage where I thought my bf was something specail... Look where that got me. The curb... And thank god because it wasnt even any thing to cry over. The only part that hurt was the lies... I cant deal with lies. My life is a lie.

Is it weird that ur ex bf fucks you over yet still trys to get with you months later.... and by that point when you see him you somewhat want to vomit. When is it ok to concider your self friends again? Its to the point where I dont like to admit anything. Is that sad?
I wish we could have just been friends and nothing more. I could have seen us being good friends. Yet I see the way he treats his other friends... talks about them. But I guess I would rather be a friend he talks about then the ex gf he used to lie to and about to his friends right? Then I guess in public I could atleast want to say hi.

Why do people stick up for people who are in the wrong... Im still facing drama from last year that I wish would just go away. I have tried to be friend her. For some reason I thought that would be the big thing to do.... Yet why? She hurt me. I put so much trust into people I dont know what to do with my self sometimes. Sometimes all I can do is cry. How can someone hurt a person on purpose? I dont get it. What did I ever do to you? I went out with your EX bf after you broke up with him.... Sorry I wish I could have gave him back in the long run any way. I dont want to talk shit about him.... I alwayd find my self doing that. The hurt and anger takes over. Im over him, just not what happend. I still find my self crying somtimes.

When we were together I felt so low that I couldnt get ne thing better... Thats why I was hurting for so long. I hate my self now more then ever bc I look back on how stupid I was... I let someone do to me, what I never let people do to my friends. I can stick up for my friends - yet I cant find the curage to stick up for my self? Weird. I hate myself.

Why do my friends always want me to stick up for them... Yet when its time for them to stick up for me they are no where to be found? Kinda funny how that works I guess... Im done with it. Friends are nothing.

I need to sleep..... or cry.
Kzoo I miss you already and I was just their this morning. <3
Good times to come for sure there.
I got a job at circut city :)
And the house is looking hot.

Bray and Billy your the best I love you guys forever...
PS Jennas coming home!!!!

Wed, 03 Aug 2005 14:39:43 GMT

I think when a bitch talks shit, someone needs to shut her up.
Call me a fool - or a drama queen if you must.
But Ill shut her up soon enough.

Besides that I love my girls.
I dont know how to explain it...
I have my girls from high school which I still talk to and spend time with but we have parted ways more then once - but we will always be best friends...
Yet this summer I have spent most of my time with lovely ladies...
Kelly Larson, Shelly, and Lauren on top of holly obvisouly.
I see Jenna, Tara, Kelly Patterson, Brynn, Emily, and Ashley alot too...
But Im so happy I got so close with Kelly, Shelly, and Lauren - they mean alot to me...
And I hope I made life long friends, bc they are my girls.
<3

Update on the guy situation:
Haha there is none.
School rescue me!

Move in date: 5 more DAYS!!!!!!!

PS.... Dancing at the grill tonight and caddys thursday.
You want in? Let me know.

Tue, 26 Jul 2005 23:51:44 GMT

So life.
Hmmm?

My mind is set on moving to Kzoo Aug 8th.
I miss it with all my heart.
My friends (family) are there and good times to follow.
The memories I have made there out do any memories....
Crazy memories.

I went their last week just to get out of this skanky town....
And I fell in love all over again.
The people, friends, just the feeling I wanted back so bad.
I love being on my own.
I love going to school.
I love how their are always new faces to meet.

Last week I got to spend time with my boy scott (he lived under us at the apt)
I miss him so much... and it just reminded me of all the guys.
I went to Saladays and spent time with my old bosses and workers/friends.
They want me to come back but I think I got a job at circut city (corss fingers)!
I got to hang out with oooooold friends Marc Johnsons roommates as most of u only know them...
But they are close friends I cant wait to spend time with again.
Those boys are everything.
They have showed me how to have a good time since I was 16....
God I love those boys.
We just went over old times and laughed alot.
Piggy and I hit up Wedding Crashers with a pint and laughed a ton.

I drove past out fucking house too.....
HOLY seriously its the shit.
I cant believe everything we are getting and how nice it is.
Its not a college house....
Or it will be after we get in drunk food fights - we are crazy.

Besides being crazy about the zoo...
Things are good at home.
My uncle is coming home this week from alaska...
He only graces us once almost every 5 years.
But hes amazing.
I cant wait to spend time with him and my cousin!

Friends are good.
Friends are amazing.

Boys are not so hot though :(
That guy I was "talking" to I guess - getting to know more or less...
Turned on me.
In the begining I didnt want much to do with him bc of the age differnce...
But he called me all the time and told me what I wanted to hear.
So I gave him a chance - he was a really nice guy though.
I enjoyed the time we spent together - even talked my self into thinking it was ok.
Till he desided to stop calling....
Yea a week went by - and he had even asked me to go to the movies one of those nights - and yet no call came.
Finally the other night he answered my friends phone - real mature.
Told me he stopped calling bc he knew I was leaving for kzoo in a month - and some other bull shit.
I wish it wasnt bull shit but Im sure it was.
Oh well guys come and go, I just keep thinking maybe this one will be a nice guy.
I dont get why other girls get nice guys....
You know the girls that cheat and lie....
And then Im stuck to find ass' who cheat and lie to me.
I dont find it fair.
Why do you always want what you cant have.
I had a perfect bf awhile back....
But there just wasnt ne thing their.
I didnt love him like he loved me.
I wish I would have.
But you cant make your heart run.

Anyways Im just going on about stupid shit.
Its annoying me now lol
We will see what the next few days bring - maybe back to the zoo maybe party here.
<3 everyone who reads this.
Have a good one

Wed, 06 Jul 2005 05:43:39 GMT

Havent updated in awhile.
Life is beyond grand at the moment.
So many people have been in town lately.
Matt Young was home!
Carly Jibson, Julie Hackney, Balta, & K-dog are home right now too!

Pretty much all I do these days is party and work.
and its a well rounded way of life if u ask me.

The last few days I have felt so good.
For awhile I started qustioning alot of things in my life.
I felt like alot of ppl in my life shouldnt be and/or are not really my friends ne ways.
But then all my friends came home and I have just been having a great time.
Its going to suck when they leave - but holly and I are trying to plan a trip to New York next month...

The other night I got out of work early and headed to NM where Jenna Briggs bf lives.
That was a ton of fun - met alot of new guys and hung out with Lauren, Kelly, Shelly, Jenna, Matt, and Jamie.
Shelly and I hit a few rock for a couple weeks but we are 100% better now and Im happy - I never want Shelly out of my life.
Ne ways the night was full of good eats and lots of booze.
We went to summer cel but had to leave bc they thought we were sniffing coke in the bathroom - ha.
But all was good we went back to Matt's and kept drinking.
I stayed up talking to this guy Mark till like 4:30 in the morning...
Come to find out hes a ton older than I am - but was a really nice guy.
(ps he called today haha)
Ne ways all and all that was an awesome night.

Besides that we have been partying at Postys, my boat, summer cel - being 21 bitches, and here and there.

Work is good and so are friends.
Thats all I got!

Hotties over at Deans
Emmy, Linz, Holly, Shells, and I

Marc being a p-i-m-p

Brad's hot dog and I

Joey and I @ the studio

Jeffy and I at Lauren and Lees

Lauren, me, Shelly, and Kelly

Mike looking cool, Holly all serisous, Me looking like a retard, and Timmy looking all creepy as Big Mike put it today lol

Working girls.
Holly, Me, Cutie, and Linz

Posty and Balta's dog looking hot

Kinkie and I
b4 he gave me a black eye lol

Holly, Me, Balta, and Carly

Julie, Carly, Holly, and I

Kk's friend, Kk, Holly, and I

Matty and I

Carly, Me, and Holly